February 7, 2023

Hey, why don’t they ask me my name?!

By John Guy LaPlante

I’m worried about their not asking.  I’m talking about business dealings. Have reason to be. They’re asking less and less.

In such dealings, I’d like to be called Mr. LaPlante.  Even better, Mr. LaPlante, sir. That isn’t asking much.  That used to be the common custom. Right?

How times are a-changing!

Consider this recent incident I had — “insult” is a better word.

I was in line at a chain drugstore to pick up a prescription. Finally my turn came up.

I was about to tell the clerk my name. But she didn’t give me the chance.

Hardly looking at me, she said right off, “What is your address?”

I told her.

“Yep, it’s here.” And she dashed off, retrieved my prescription, and handed it to me. I paid and left.

She never got around to asking me my name. Hard to believe. It turned out all she needed to identify me was my address.

On my way home I was thinking about that. It rankled.

A few days later I was at a big-box store to pick up an item I had bought online.

The clerk was a young fellow. He had his fingers on his computer keyboard.  He glanced at me.  I was about to tell him my name. But right away he asked, “When were you born?”

I told him the month, date, and year.

Then, “What’s your social?“

I told him.

“I’ll get your package. Back in a minute.”  He dashed off and came back with it.

Two customers were standing in line behind me. He didn’t want to keep them waiting. I quickly paid and left.

“Damn!” I thought as I walked off. I felt really offended. Why in the world didn’t he ask me, “What’s your name?”

Well, he didn’t need to. When I was born and what my social security number is did the trick. Still!

What the heck has happened to good old-fashioned politeness? More  important, weren’t we given names exactly so that we could quickly be known, remembered,  and identified?

But my sad story isn’t over.  I was at the State Department of Motor Vehicles office to get my very first California driver’s license. I told you about that in a recent post. This time I had a different reason. As usual, crowded and busy.  Finally I got to a clerk. A young woman.

She asked my name and I told her. I liked that.  and gave her other basic info she wanted.  She typed all that into her computer. Then she handed me an electronic gizmo. And told me, “Press your thumb on it. Hard!” I pressed my right thumb hard against it. “Good!” she said.

Well, as you may know from that post, I had to go back to the DMV. This time I faced a different clerk.

Right off she asked, “Been here before?” I nodded and right away she handed me one of those gizmos and said, “Press hard!” I pressed hard. She was looking at her computer. “I found you,” she said. All my data, she meant.

So, absolutely no need to ask me what’s my name. Or my address. Or my social.

That thumb print of mine brought up everything she needed to move me along in getting my license.

I marveled at the technology, of course. And what it portends. My thumb print will identify me if ever I have to go back to the DMV. Which I hope will be never. Or maybe even in any office of the State of California for any purpose! Maybe forevermore!

I’ve been fingerprinted. Sure. All 10 fingers. To get a passport. And when I applied to serve in Peace Corps. And maybe my fingerprints made into the FBI’s national fingerprint bank – you know, in case I ever get picked up for something bad and they want to run a background check on me.

But now just a single thumbprint may do it all. Amazing.

So there you have it. The chain drug store knows me by my date of birth. The big-box store knows me by my address and my social. The California DMV by my thumb. Maybe the whole state of California has me down by my thumb print. Maybe the FBI, too. Even the IRS.  Even other government departments. Who knows? It’s not so far-fetched.

But all that said and done, still they could ask, “What’s your name, sir?”  Or, “Ma’m?” How nice that would be. Ten seconds is all it would take. Then their other questions. Maybe even use the thumb gizmo. Easy.  Then get down to business. I’d feel a lot better when my bit of business was done.

Of course, you’re in the same boat in such dealings. I’m sure you’d consider it a nice touch, too.


As always, I look forward to your comments. I read them all, and love it when you give me a different take on what I’ve sent you



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